So - How Are You?
Aloha ‘Ohana…
With everything happening in our community we wanted to ask: …so - how are you? Really? When was the last time you asked a friend that simple question?
Sometimes a friend, colleague, or family who may have the appearance of having it all together on the outside is actually suffering on the inside. This is called Smiling Depression.
What is Smiling Depression?
Smiling depression involves appearing happy to others and smiling through the pain, keeping the inner turmoil hidden. It’s a major depressive disorder with atypical symptoms, and as a result, many don’t know they’re depressed or don’t seek help. People with smiling depression are often partnered or married, employed, and are quite accomplished and educated. Their public, professional and social lives are not struggling. Their façade is put together and accomplished.
But behind the mask and behind closed doors, their minds are filled with thoughts of worthlessness, inadequacy, and despair. They’ve usually struggled with depression and/or debilitating anxiety for years and have had some experience with therapy or medication. Many don’t disclose their depression due to fear of discrimination from loved ones or employers.
How can we help?
Many people struggling with smiling depression are perfectionists, or they don’t want to appear weak or out of control. The more we can shift the conversation to show positive role models living with depression—those who advocate for the mix of therapy, exercise, medication, sleep, diet—the less shame and stigma will be associated with it.
Pay more attention to your loved ones (especially the warning signs)
If you have a friend who suddenly stops responding to phone calls or texts or cancels plans, don’t hesitate to ask them what’s going on and if they’re feeling okay. Let them know that they are heard and are not alone.
If you think you might be depressed
On the days when your brain seems to be fighting you for your life, remember that you are enough, you are worthy, you are loved and you are not alone.
Reach out to someone you trust and consider contacting a therapist. Let these influential roles in your life help you to create a more positive state of mind. Rather than becoming submerged in a vortex of negative, self-defeating thoughts. Above all, please don’t give up. Please don’t let depression win. You are not alone.
Please call our Behavioral Health Services team if you feel the need to talk to someone. We are there for you (808) 293-9231. We see you…
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